In an ideal world, couples who marry are combining two lives into one. There are many advantages to combining financial assets with a spouse, and one of the biggest has nothing to do with actual money at all: It is the trust and teamwork that's built when a couple discusses and compromises on an issue so integral to their marriage. She can be reached at No: Combining Accounts Helps Build Trust and Teamwork Long is a CPA and financial planner and a volunteer member of the American Institute of CPAs' National CPA Financial Literacy Commission. I've yet to meet a couple who says they've stayed together because they combined their money, but I've met plenty who attribute their marital success to separate accounts. It is to remove a barrier to happiness in marriage. The point of separate accounts isn't to keep couples from sharing and growing together. Having separate accounts helps ensure that both spouses remain financially literate and able to manage money on their own if need be.
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Losing a partner can be devastating enough without having to relearn how to manage daily finances. One of the biggest reasons I advocate separate accounts is the fact that at some point more than half of married people will become financially independent again-not only because of divorce but also due to an unexpected death. But if both spouses are happy with the way they handle other shared expenses, dividing up the costs associated with kids shouldn't be a problem. The arrival of children can add a new level of complexity for couples with separate finances. They also need a set of ground rules, such as no new credit-card debt and a dollar amount that can't be spent without a spouse's input-say, buying a new car. Couples need to agree on how much each will contribute to shared household expenses and savings. If each person has a clearly defined idea of how his or her saving or spending will aid in the achievement of the family's goals, both people feel more empowered and responsible for their choices.Ĭommunication is key. That said, money secrets have no place in a marriage, and couples should have a shared household budget and financial goals.
It is simply an acknowledgment of a fundamental difference in money attitudes, much like couples have different religious views yet find a way to make it work for them. This isn't a sign of marital problems to come. Money arguments crop up most often in relationships where a "spender" marries a "saver." Separate accounts allow the saver to scrimp and penny-pinch without resentment from the spender, who also will feel less guilt or anxiety about splurges. This gives each partner a sense of autonomy and financial independence, potentially saving them from endless hours of petty money fights.
That is why even if a couple has a joint account from which household bills are paid, each spouse needs a certain amount of money over which they have complete control. now about 27, according to an analysis of Census data by the Pew Research Center, many people already have had five years or more of total financial independence before saying "I do." Marriage is the joining of two lives and forsaking all others, but it isn't the forsaking of one's separate identity, and it certainly isn't the forsaking of premarital money habits and mind-sets. With the average age of first marriage in the U.S. I think the exact opposite is true: that many couples need to have separate accounts to maintain financial and emotional harmony in their relationships. Some people believe that couples who keep their finances separate after marriage are setting themselves up for trouble.